Hi, my name is Honeybrown, and I am an ex-perm addict
It's been 7 months and 8 days since my last perm, and I must write this blog to be truthful, right? So, I must admit that I have fallen on times where I have wanted to go back to relaxed status. The drug is a hard one to completely get over. Like my relationship with my heavenly Daddy, there are times when I focus on what's not going right and forget what is going right.
As the cold air crept into the mornings, I started having problems with my hair. Oh how easy it was in the summer to wash and go and still have my defined curls. But, the cold wind brought about a change, and though I knew I couldn't do the same things I did with my hair in the summer, I was, for the first time, having a bit of a problem with the "cotton ball" hair as my friend calls it. So, as any human being I started doubting my choice of going natural. I looked at people who had relaxed hair and thought,
"Was it really that bad? I bet it would look cute with a nice lil relaxed cut. I wouldn't have to feel weird at work anymore, and then I could do the natural thing later. Or maybe not do it anymore. Man, my hair is looking CRAZY. What's going on? I notice the curl pattern is changing, parts seem looser, parts seem not to have one at all. Man, if I just kept my relaxed hair..."
Yes, I broke down and started thinking about going back. Like sin, I thought of what I lost, what I missed. I talked to my girl B. Fly about it one night, we were talking about how our hair was changing and I told her mine seemed to be loosing its pattern, and she told me how she changed her regimen and how it seemed to bring out more curls. Man, I thought, what is wrong with me?
But God! (I love Him). When you start thinking about the past, that's when you get off track. The past is the past. AND my past wasn't that great. I had fine (thin) hair that broke off like crazy, shed like crazy, and the times in between perms was ridiculous! I couldn't do anything with my hair, wasn't great at styling it, had to start flat-ironing it pretty much daily to keep the style, and it became an obsession to try to keep it looking right. When you think about where you are now, and realize that everything is not gravy, but it is better, you start to see your blessings for what it is and to appreciate it. I love my hair. It's thicker (as someone told me how thick, in a good way, it was), it's easier to manage, I don't have to worry about it as much, I can get up and go, I don't use heat, which is healthier for my hair, I take care of it and make sure I condition it regularly, which brings a shine, and yes, ladies, I got the curl pattern back with a little change in products!
This is a long road and journey I am on, and I thank God I have people who are on the journey with me. Thank you all. It ain't over!
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11 months ago